I know you are used to hearing about my awful experiences, but Guy #2 isn’t all that bad. Let’s rewind back to May this year. Specifically, the last day of my junior year and before I took my last final. I had recently downloaded Tinder again for the 600th time and I remember seeing that I had a message and I turned my phone off. It could wait.
I finished the final and was so happy that I could finally go pack for summer. I turned my phone back on and I saw a message from Guy #2. It said something normal like “Hey, how are you?” which always beats “Ur hot” or the classic “Wanna fuck?” He was tall with blonde hair and I noticed that he called me “sugar” a lot which really freaked me out. I directly asked him “Is there a reason you are calling me that?” and he replied with “I’m from Louisville so I say weird shit like that sometimes.” He also had a nose ring in one of his pictures, so naturally I was intrigued. It was fake. I could not decide if everything about him was cute or unnervingly annoying.
I didn’t expect anything to come from this guy. I didn’t even plan to meet him that Sunday night. I was deciding on who I was going to be before my senior year and a guy would have messed that up quickly. Then again, I’m skilled at messing things up. So I met him. It was about 8pm on a Sunday. I remember rushing out the door because I was late like always. Yes, I went to his apartment. Yes, I’m an idiot.
This was a turning point for me, looking back on it. I wasn’t nervous pulling up to his complex which was a new feeling for me. He said to call when I parked and he had a nice voice, which is always a good sign. But, you know what is not a good sign? Taking one look at him, dropping my phone on the pavement, and watching the screen shatter into a thousand pieces. I’ve never broken a phone, so when he walked up to me and said “hi”, I must have had the most horrified look on my face and said “Oh, hi.” I ignored the shitshow that is Stephanie and went inside. He was finishing that shitty Will Ferrell movie where he gets kicked out of his house and lives on the lawn for an hour and a half of screen time, so we finished it. I didn’t really know what to say since I was recently traumatized by my phone shattering.
There was a comfortable silence for a few minutes and we sat next to each other on the couch, unsure of where to go from there. His roommates were gone for the next month, so it was just him, working his computer job on Purdue’s campus (I know, I know) for the summer. I snapped out of my daze when all of a sudden he looked at me and said “So, do you want to take your shoes off?” This makes me die laughing to this day because his shoes were still on. I said something along the lines of “what” because.. Um, what. I couldn’t stop laughing in his face because the whole situation was just unnecessary. He looked so confused when I laughed and asked “Do you want help?” WHAT. No. I do not want help taking off my shoes. I want help paying for my damn phone screen.
I think I told him I was an just a horribly sarcastic girl and told him to not take it personally. I was trying so hard to figure him out for about an hour but he was doing the same. (Side note: I have had this dominance issue for a few years now, and I’ve grown to love it. Men feel emasculated or insulted when I take charge of situations. That sounds like a personal problem to me and I hope they get the help they need).
By the way, he was extremely attractive. I managed to avoid getting catfished once again and it was great. He had nice, bleach blonde hair and big square glasses like me. Not to mention, he had a solid body type. I thought I was destined to be with thin, fragile men for the rest of my existence but he proved me wrong (or did he?).
Once we broke the silence, yet again, he told me that he liked to cook. Food is something that used to make my ears instantly perk up, so I was interested. He made me this pasta thing from scratch while he told me about his love for music. He pushed his glasses up a lot, almost like they didn’t fit his face. He told me that he didn’t actually need glasses, he just saw that I had them and wanted to impress me. Dude, we don’t both have to be blind for this to be a nice time. Then he offered me alcohol, how was I supposed to refuse that? He made me a gin and lemonade and my attitude started to lighten up a bit.
We talked for a few hours while drinking simultaneously and I became less and less skeptical. I still didn’t feel right, but it wasn’t the endangered feeling that I felt with Guy #1. It was more curiosity which generally disappears when I talk to men for more than 5 minutes. He was mysterious, weird, and getting dangerously close to kissing me.
He managed to not touch me for 4 hours. That, my friends, is impressive. Tinder has always had the stigma of hooking up instantly or in under an hour. So I had the gin and lemonade in one hand my head propped up in the other hand. His alternative indie music on in the background was melting through the air. Our knees were touching and he gave me that look.
“So what are you planning on doing now that you’re drunk and you drove here?” Probably disappointing my mom, once again.
“Well, I guess I’ll have to stay. Or endanger my life. Or both.” I can’t ever just say something that makes sense.
“I have to admit, if you sleep in my bed, it is going to be really hard to not kiss you.” Smooth, real smooth.
“I think I’d be okay with that.” 50% Steph, 50% Gin.
Then came that mind-blowing, goosebump-inducing kiss that I had been waiting for. He grabbed my face and the music was swirling around me. The gin was hugging me from the inside out while this warm feeling spread all over. Okay, not that feeling. But the nice, adrenaline feeling you get from a really good kiss. I think we ended up on the floor, laughing and listening to music. I’ll spare you all the details that follow, but I didn’t sleep with him if that is what you are thinking.
I left his apartment feeling unsettled. Do I see him again? I’ve never had an experience where I actually liked the guy. He texted me later in the day saying how tired he was and I ignored it. He texted me again the next day and I sent a one word answer. A few days later we had a real conversation. Two of his best friends were staying at his place for the weekend and he wanted me to meet them. Oh. I went over to his place, even though I thought it was weird. They were really cool people and I had an amazing time. He came over to my house the next night. We were tangled in a snuggle and he admitted that he never gets this close to people. I usually question statements like that, but I believed him. I genuinely believed him. Dumbass.
We spent that entire weekend together, which is eye roll worthy to me now. I had this bad girl attitude from the moment I met him, which helped me to not catch feelings. If you have read my post called “The Rule” you would know that I have a rule about not sleeping with someone the first time I hang out with them. Then if you know me, you know that I am passionate about this rule and want to save other women from the same feeling that I have had to experience time and time again. I managed to wait a few days before sleeping with this one. I thought I was safe from catching feelings, until one night he looked at me and said, “Steph, I want more.” I said, “More? More what?” He followed with, “I want more of you. I want to experience more with you.” It is amazing how I still smile when I think of that sentence, even to this day. After the way Guy #2 ended, I still smile. I smiled that day too, and said “Okay, I’ll give you more” and opened my little heart up. That is where most women go wrong, and I am no better.
Here is the only conversation I have left with him on my phone.
Fast forward a couple weeks, I had not heard from him for an entire weekend. He ignored my texts and my snapchats. I texted him one last time before giving up and asked, “Do you just not want to talk to me anymore?” and he said, “Its not that, I just met someone else.” Then it all made sense. He was that guy. The one who likes you for a small moment in time, gets you hooked, and moves on to the next new shiny object. I believe I said, “Thank you for being kind enough to let me know 3 days ago when you started ignoring me. I hope you realize that I’m the girl you’re supposed to keep” and he said, “Its not like that.” Well, sometimes it is like that. I deleted him and never looked back.
The situation end badly, but the entire experience as a whole taught me something. I learned that I can open myself up to someone again. I was able to get butterflies again. I was finally ready to move on from my past. So thank you, Guy #2, for throwing me away when I wasn’t interesting to you anymore. Thank you for showing me that I was supposed to love myself first.
Now I’m going to spend my Thursday night doing what God intended. Quenching my thirst. Happy Thursday!