Okay okay, so he wasn’t an actual Nazi. I’m sorry that is misleading.
I’ve been single for a little over three years now, so saying that I’m an awkward potato in the dating world is a freaking understatement. I recently downloaded Tinder for the eighth time. I feel like most college girls can relate to constantly deleting and re-downloading this stupid app that makes you feel pretty and disgusted all at once.
I swiped right on this guy that only had one picture. I could only see the left side of his face, so naturally I asked him if the right side was horribly deformed. Keep in mind that I never actually meet the guys I talk to on Tinder, so I either fuck with them or receive compliments.
We talked for about three days via text until I agreed to go on a coffee date with him. He seemed nice enough and pretty cute from half the picture I saw. He added one more picture for me, but I wasn’t too satisfied when I looked at it. It looked like it had been taken in the 40’s and he was dressed in his grandfather’s war uniform which was simultaneously hot and off putting all at once. I didn’t know what to think when I walked into Soma on that Wednesday night. The air was immediately awkward when I met him, he didn’t offer me a handshake or a hug so I was like what the hell. I paid for my own coffee and struggled to find things to talk about FOR A FULL HOUR before suggesting he showed me his apartment.
We walk into his apartment and I’m immediately hit in the face with the smell of World War I. It smelled like dust and sadness, kinda like my vagina. I sat on his perfectly made bed and he sat in his desk chair. I continued to struggle to find words to say to him… and then I started to believe he was an actual Nazi.
Rewind to my roommate, Elyce, saying this kid was a Nazi from the beginning so it was in the back of my mind. He told me he loved to collect World War I & II items and display them in his apartment, he often gets compared to an old Nazi soldier, and he isn’t too fond of Jewish people. I am FREAKING OUT by this point and wanted to get the hell out of there. I made up an excuse that my little needed my help and she came and picked me up.
Needless to say, I won’t be swiping right on another guy who has one picture of half of his face. Stay tuned to more stories from yours truly.